Light Glows Anew
by onimushi
Summary: Shonen ai. Heero mysteriously leaves Duo for Relena. Wufei to the rescue.
1. Default Chapter

Musings by Onimushi  
  
Duo sat on the landing, staring out the window. He was wrapped comfortably in a warm sweater, drinking a cup of tea. His hair was delicately braided and draped over his shoulder. Gazing out the window, into the snowy landscape, Duo could definitely say this is the most comfortable he had been in a long time. Quatre's offer had certainly been a great chance to escape and relax. Recuperate. Heal. Or rather, as Heero would call it, lick his wounds. He closed his eyes and pushed the thought out of his mind.  
  
"Duo?" Wufei said cautiously. Duo had done nothing but sit and stare since he arrived. Such a drastic change from his normal, bouncy, charismatic self. It worried the Chinese boy that his American friend was so quiet. Duo blinked and looked at Wufei, not seeming to recognize him at first. The glazed look passed over Duo's face as quickly as it had come.  
  
"Hm?" Duo muttered dumbly.  
  
"I...how...uh...Heero...called." Wufei managed to stutter out. He hadn't wanted to tell Duo. He would rather be strangling the Japanese bastard at the moment. But it was not his style to get in the middle of other people's love affairs.  
  
"H-he did? What did he...what did he say?" Duo looked up at Wufei with hope in his eyes. A desperate, yearning sort of hope that made Wufei's heart wrench painfully. The sloe eyed pilot clenched his fist.  
  
"I asked him if he wanted to speak to you...but..."  
  
The hurt in Duo's eyes showed tremendously. It was like a whip lashing out at him. Duo drew his knees up to his chest and buried his face in his arms. "What did he say?"  
  
Wufei couldn't bring himself to do it. He opened his mouth but he could feel the bile rise in his throat. He took a deep breath and sat gently beside Duo. Wufei tentatively placed a hand on Duo's arm and braced himself.  
  
"H-he said...he said they're getting married in two months. And...and that we're all invited. He wants you to be there." Try as he might the disgust that Wufei felt seeped through every word that he said. Duo's whole body lurched and he made a strangled cry.  
  
"Duo-"  
  
"Why!? Why in the hell is he doing this?! He doesn't love her! She's just a stupid bitch why?! WHY!? It's not possible Wufei! He swore he loved me! I gave myself to him how could he...do this? How could he possibly love someone else? He must have gone insane! She did something to him I know it I know him! How?! HOW COULD HE?!"  
  
Duo shook with rage and grief. Wufei could only pull Duo into his arms and let him sob.  
  
"I don't know. I don't understand it. I...just don't know..."  
  
A few moments passed and the sobs began to subside. Duo had expended energy he didn't have and was on the verge of losing consciousness. Before he drifted off to sleep, he whispered something almost inaudible.  
  
"But...but you said you loved me..." Duo soon began to breathe evenly. Wufei followed his pulse as it evened out. He scooped the braided boy in his arms and carried him to the room next to his. He laid him down in the bed and tucked him in gently.  
  
Wufei couldn't understand what he was feeling right now, but he knew what he wanted to do. He didn't want to leave Duo alone, but he had to get to Heero to find out just what the hell happened. He picked up the phone and called Quatre. After half an hour of making arrangements, Wufei left a quick note for Duo, saying that Trowa would be there by that evening and he would be back the next afternoon. With that, he was on his motorcycle and on his way to Relena's current residence. 


	2. Light Glows Anew Chap 2

Light Glows Anew Chap 2 by Onimushi  
  
Dawn found Wufei at the gate of a gaudy, pink, overly large mansion. The gates were wrought iron. Two large stone pillars were on either side. To the right was an intercom with miscellaneous buttons. To the left was a plaque that stated "Peacecraft Manor".  
  
Wufei sighed. He debated breaking in. It would be much easier to get Heero alone if he did. But there was the risk of being killed by the Perfect Soldier if he caught him off guard. But then again, he wasn't here to wish them well either and if it were up to Wufei, he would avoid seeing that succubus-slut-wench-whore at all costs. A mental image of her came to Wufei's mind. He shivered.  
  
"She's not even attractive...Heero what the hell are you thinking?" He muttered to himself as he pushed his motorcycle out of view into a nearby bush. "You've got a perfectly beautiful, gorgeous, funny, outgoing, happy, sane bishounen waiting for you back home absolutely begging to be loved. I would give anything for Duo to beg for me. Omae o koruso baka yaro!"(1)  
  
By the time Wufei had finished conversing with himself he had scaled the perimeter of the mansion. He spotted a group of bushes next to a ventilation shaft approximately one hundred yards from his current position. It was a clear run. His only obstacle was a walking mop that was heading in his direction.  
  
"Walking mop?!" Wufei looked closer. "What the hell is that thing?" Closer inspection led Wufei to believe that it was not a walking mop, but a small, hairy, ugly dog.  
  
"Dogs bark." Wufei informed himself. "Small dogs tend to have loud barks. Two options. Befriend the hairy pooch, or send it flying."  
  
Wufei was by no means an animal activist, but neither was he an animal abuser. He fished in his pocket for something.  
  
"Aha! I knew there was a reason Grandma always told me to carry beef jerky at all times." Wufei unwrapped the beef jerky and whistled. The small dog's ears perked up and he took off immediately towards Wufei. Wufei tossed the bit of jerky to the left of the dog. The ball of hair took off after the jerky and snatched it up, returning to his dog house. Wufei ran for it. Mere seconds and he was at the ventilation shaft. He wrenched the seal off and scrambled inside. He replaced the seal and assessed his position. 


	3. Light Glows Anew Chap 3

Light Glows Anew Chap 3 by Onimushi  
  
Duo awoke from a series of fitful dreams. The only one he could remember had been of Heero calling him a fag and pushing him to the ground. Wufei was there with a gun, pointing it at Heero. Duo screamed for him to stop, but instead of shooting Heero, Wufei turned the gun towards himself and shot himself in the head. Duo ran to Wufei's side. But it wasn't Wufei, it was himself. Blood was seeping from the back of his head. He looked up and saw Wufei on his knees, screaming. Heero was standing next to him with the gun. There were bloodstains on his shirt.  
  
He sat up bolt right in bed, covered in sweat, gasping for air. He didn't know where he was. It was dark. He felt around the bed for Heero, but he wasn't there. It all came back to him.  
  
Heero is gone. I'm at Quatre's.  
  
Feeling sick to his stomach, he got up and headed for the bathroom. He was sick twice before he started feeling better. Cleaning himself up, he turned the light on and miserably fumbled for clean clothes.  
  
How did I get into bed? Why am I still in my clothes?  
  
Wufei.  
  
Wufei must have carried me in here after Heero called...Don't think about it Maxwell. It will only hurt more the more you think about it.  
  
After the fact, Duo barely remembered that he had taken a shower and sat for over an hour combing his wet hair and braiding it. When he was done dawn had come and he could hear Wufei moving around upstairs.  
  
Funny. I can never usually hear Wufei. He's so silent.  
  
The light spilled in through the windows.  
  
Pray. You never pray anymore. Pray.  
  
Duo got down on his knees and closed his eyes, like he had done so long ago. Before everything had happened. Before the war, before Gundams, before Heero.  
  
God...forgive me...I wasn't good enough for him...why? Help me God...deliver me...bring me home before you take him away from me...I'd rather be dead...  
  
"Duo?"  
  
Duo jumped. He looked up and saw Trowa standing in the doorway. He felt himself blush.  
  
"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt...what are you doing on the floor?" Trowa asked curiously, as if he had never seen a man pray before.  
  
"I was...praying." He got up and straightened his shirt. "When did you get here?"  
  
"You didn't get the letter?"  
  
"Letter?"  
  
Trowa pointed to the small table beside the bed. There was an envelope with Duo's name on it. Duo gave Trowa a puzzled look and then picked up the letter. It read:  
  
Duo,  
  
I'm going to see Heero. Be back before tomorrow evening. Sorry I didn't wake you.  
  
Wufei  
  
"Why is he going to see Heero?" Duo said more to himself, putting the letter down.  
  
"Perhaps to find some answers for you." Trowa said gently.  
  
"It's not like Wufei to get into the middle of love affairs." Duo said dryly. "Is he bored or something?"  
  
Trowa frowned. "He's just trying to help. He probably didn't think that you get upset about him trying to help you. That's what friends do. Or perhaps he didn't know you didn't consider him as a friend."  
  
Duo glared at Trowa. "Of course I consider him a friend. Maybe it's him who never considered me as a friend."  
  
"You know that's not true Duo. Wufei is an anal retentive, killing machine, just like the rest of us. You can't honestly believe that it might be a little hard for him to express his feelings."  
  
Duo knew he was right. "It still strikes me as unnatural that Wufei would try and help me. Especially when it comes to something like this. He's a homophobe."  
  
Trowa laughed. "You really don't know him do you? Wufei may act straight as an arrow, but that guy is more crooked than Nixon. Besides, if he's trying to help, why not just go with it? It's not often that someone like Wufei finds someone he truly cares about. And there's no use arguing it right now anyway because not even I know why he's going to see Heero. You'll get your answers when he comes back this evening."  
  
Duo shrugged. "I'm hungry." 


	4. Light Glows Anew Chap 4

Light Glows Anew by Onimushi  
  
Wufei sneezed. He was allergic to whatever it was in this ventilation shaft. He'd been crawling around for about ten minutes and getting nowhere.  
  
Maybe I should just blow the whole place up. It'd save me the trouble...Nah, Duo might be angry that I blew Heero up...  
  
Wufei had a mental image of taking a chibi Heero and stuffing into a suitcase and throwing him off a bridge into a raging river.  
  
I'd have better luck blowing him up.  
  
Five more minutes of crawling in the same direction and he came across a vent from which he could hear voices from the room below.  
  
"I like pink better, don't you agree Heero? Not traditional black and white, that's so boring and over done."  
  
"Hn."  
  
"Alright Winston, I want the pastel pink and white. I don't want any white flowers though, I want all pink. Heero, did you go over the guest list one last time?"  
  
"Yes, but I still don't know why you have to invite your brother."  
  
"It's for that reason exactly dear. He's my brother, like it or not. Shoot, I'm going to be late for my fitting. Winston, grab that folder right there and let's go. Oh and dear, please do not rearrange those pictures; they have to stay in that order."  
  
Wufei heard hurried footsteps and a door slamming. He peered through the shaft and saw Heero standing alone in a large room covered with blue prints, papers, and pictures of floral designs.  
  
I suppose I shouldn't just bust down on him.  
  
"Psst...Heero!"  
  
Heero whirled around and looked straight at the ventilation shaft. He grabbed a gun out of the inside of his vest.  
  
"Put the fucking gun down you idiot. It's me."  
  
"Wufei!? What the hell are you doing up there?"  
  
Wufei braced himself and slammed down on the vent. It fell through with a loud clunk and hit the floor. He hoisted himself through the opening and landed effortlessly on the floor. He brushed himself off and looked up. Heero was still holding the gun.  
  
"I'm not armed. You can search me."  
  
Heero looked at him wearily and put the gun away.  
  
"Why didn't you just come to the door?" Heero asked suspiciously.  
  
Wufei rolled his eyes. "Honestly, I wanted to avoid Relena at all costs. I didn't know that you were here by your own free will, and I didn't want to take any chances."  
  
"My own free will? What are you talking about? Of course I'm...what is this about?" Heero demanded.  
  
"I want to know why the sudden turn around. Why did you just up and leave Duo for a woman you hated not month ago? For a woman that stalked you? For a woman?! For HER?!"  
  
Heero seemed speechless.  
  
"Well?"  
  
Heero still seemed unable to answer.  
  
"Don't get me wrong Heero. You don't owe me any answers. You owe answers to the man who has locked himself in Quatre's house and won't come out, won't eat, hardly speaks, and cries all night long. He thought you loved him. So did I. So did all of us. It doesn't seem very likely that you would, of your own free will, turn around and fucking marry the bitch." Wufei spat viciously. "Say something you bastard!"  
  
Heero took a deep breath and turned around. "What do you want me to say? I'm not drugged, I'm not being black mailed. Indeed I am here of my own free will. I love her. I want to marry her. I'm going to spend the rest of my-"  
  
"Why Heero?! Why did you leave him?! Supposedly you felt all those things about him! So why would you leave him for her?!"  
  
"I didn't feel those things about him Wufei. I never did."  
  
"Ah-"Wufei couldn't register this. "Heero, that doesn't make sense. I-it just doesn't. One minute you're in love with Duo. You sleep with Duo. A lot. All the time. And I know it wasn't just the sex. You protected him with your life. You even risked the mission for him. And now you're engaged to Relena Peacecraft? Now...maybe it's just me, but that doesn't quite fit right." Wufei tried to read Heero's expression as he spoke to him. It seemed sad, but not confused, or unnaturally dull  
  
"Wufei, you have to understand...I thought I loved him. I thought..." Heero sighed and walked over to the couch and sat down. He ran his fingers through his hair and closed his eyes. "I was 15 when I met and "fell in love" with Duo. Think about it Wufei. You were all gay. I was vulnerable, depressed. I wasn't normal. I was royally fucked up. I didn't know my own ass from a hole in the ground. And to top it all off, I was post pubescent and horny. I knew immediately that Duo had a thing for me-"  
  
"He did not have a thing for you." Wufei snapped angrily. "He fucking worshipped you."  
  
Heero sighed. "Will you let me finish? I knew he was in love with me. I was scared. Yes, believe it or not I was terrified that each day that came would be my last. I was inexperienced and he was willing. Please don't look at me like that Wufei. I'm not saying what I pretended to be, or what I did was right. But it would have been a worse crime to continue to let him believe that I love him or that I'm even gay."  
  
There were only two other times when Wufei had been this emotional or angry. First, when his colony was destroyed. It was a pain and anger beyond anything Wufei wanted to think about. Second, when Treize allowed Wufei to kill him. Treize had been his first real love, challenge, and even friend. It was a personal loss that he dealt with everyday. But this...this made him want to murder. It made him want to kill. It was...injustice.  
  
Heero was somewhat alarmed at how livid Wufei had become. He wasn't sure if his safety was in question or not.  
  
"How...do you sleep with a man...tell him you love him everyday...share your every waking moment with him...and not...be...gay? And even if by some miracle, you were wretchedly confused and sexually frustrated, how do you let it go this far? You have shattered his life Heero! You're nothing but a selfish, self seeking bastard! And you don't even have the courage to tell him this yourself?! You'd let him rot in hell as long as you were happy!"  
  
"That's not true!" Heero was on his feet now. "Do you think this is easy for me? We were friends too Wufei! We weren't just lovers! It tortures me everyday that I did this to him, but how do you tell him without making it worse?"  
  
"How do you leave him there letting him think there was something wrong with him? That it was something he did? That he wasn't good enough!?" Wufei screamed.  
  
Heero was red in the face. His whole body was trembling. "What am I supposed to do Wufei? Would you have him know this? Would you let him think it was all a lie? Which would be worse?"  
  
"Lies are always worse Heero. If I'd thought you'd learned anything, it would've been that. I won't tell him. I refuse to do it. But that doesn't mean I'll let this go. If you don't tell him, you'll regret it. And that's a threat."  
  
Note from Author: Eh, as you might be able to tell, Wufei is fairly OC. I'm not sure why it is but I'm having trouble portraying all the pilots. But take it easy, this is my first fic in about...two years. I used to be an addict. It's an addiction I've recently become interested in picking up again. So please, reply and give all the constructive criticism possible. Flame if you feel necessary. And as for the walking mop....all I can say is that I'm really sorry. ^_^;; 


	5. Light Glows Anew Chap 5

Light Glows Anew Chap 5  
  
Duo stared at his sandwich. It seemed to him that this particular sandwich was different from the other sandwiches. Not any less of a sandwich, just different. It was driving him mad and causing him to lose his appetite.  
  
"Duo.you're not going to do anything to the sandwich by staring at it. Eat up." Trowa said.  
  
Duo groaned. "I can't. If I did, I don't think I would be able to live with myself."  
  
Trowa quirked an eyebrow. "Would you feel guilty about Italian?"  
  
"I just don't think I can eat right now."  
  
Trowa placed his hand softly over Duo's. "Duo, you said this morning you were hungry and then you wouldn't touch that omelet. I'm starting to think you have something against my cooking. You have to eat. This will be the third day you've gone without eating. You can't live off of a diet of tea alone. You're not Hee.ro."  
  
Now you've done it Barton. Just remind him that he's lost the only thing he held dear.  
  
"It's okay. It's not like it kills me to hear his name." Duo pushed the plate with the sandwich away. "Trowa, it's like something's gone. Something's not right. There's something I'm missing. Like it's right on the tip of my tongue, I just can't say it. Or its right under my nose, I just can't see it. Or don't want to. Kinda like I'm trying to hold on to something futile." He ran his hands through his bangs and curled his fists in frustration. "I just don't know what it is. Did Heero seem.unusual to you? I mean besides the usual way. "  
  
"If you're asking me if I had any foresight into this, I didn't. Heero was odd. But that's Heero."  
  
"But what about him was odd? That you thought was just.out of character for him? Like.it wouldn't be unexpected of me to go to a party and wind up naked before I left, but it would be out of character of me to sleep around. It wouldn't be out of character for Heero to take a bullet for me, but it would be out of character for him to show any affection in public. Especially around.her."  
  
Trowa hummed thoughtfully. "That's kinda hard Duo. I don't know Heero very well. The only one he's gotten close enough to notice his behavior patterns is you-"  
  
"Trowa please just think! You were around him often enough, you must've noticed something!"  
  
Trowa paused for a moment and closed his eyes. He thought hard about every time he saw Heero together with Duo. Yet anyone who wasn't an out of closet case like Duo would have trouble showing public affection, especially keeping in mind how masculine Heero was.  
  
Masculine.  
  
He was very masculine. Very private. But he was still unsure of himself. He knew the mission, but he never really knew love until Duo. And yet.it didn't seem all quite there. Even at the safe houses. Duo would come bouncing him, throw himself on Heero, and plant a huge kiss on the Perfect Soldier. Heero would timidly slide his arms around Duo and rest his head on his shoulder. It wasn't often that Heero kissed Duo back. In fact, that only happened in near death experiences in which both would come back through the door of the safe house, smothered to each other, barely able to make it back to their room before they got naked.  
  
So they only kissed during sex?  
  
Trowa opened his eyes and looked at an expectant Duo.  
  
"Eh.Duo, can I ask you a question?"  
  
Duo nodded.  
  
Trowa didn't quite know how to phrase it. He took a breath, then stopped. "Ah.did you and Heero ever kiss when you.weren't having sex?"  
  
Duo began to reply and then stopped. He sat back with a thoughtful expression on his face. "Well, I can remember the first time we kissed. When I first admitted that I loved him, but that led to sex too.He would kiss me when I was.wait.no.we had sex then too.wait a minute, we had to have kissed other than during sex!" Duo sounded incredulous.  
  
Trowa was confused. He didn't know why he brought the kissing issue up. He didn't even understand how that would explain Duo's feeling of unknowing.  
  
Think Trowa. Why would Heero never kiss him besides sex? Trouble with affection? If that were the issue then he wouldn't have slept with Duo.slept with Duo.slept with Duo.c'mon think!  
  
"Was he ever on the bottom?"  
  
Duo looked up, confused. "Huh?"  
  
"Eh...during sex. Was he ever on the bottom?"  
  
"No. Never actually. He never gave me the chance and I don't think he was comfortable with it."  
  
"Why do you think that was?" Trowa said, interlocking his fingers and sitting back.  
  
"You're starting to sound like my shrink." Duo moaned.  
  
Trowa smiled meekly. "Sorry."  
  
"I don't really know why he would never be on bottom. You know he has a problem with submission. But I.it's that feeling again. That answer doesn't fit, does it? Jesus Christ what is wrong with me?! It's right there! I know it! Why can't I figure this out?" Duo growled.  
  
"Maybe you don't want to know." Said a voice from behind them. 


	6. Light Glows Anew Chap 6

Light Glows Anew Chapter 6  
  
Duo turned to see Wufei standing in the doorway looking slightly breathless. Wufei noticed Duo's staring.  
  
"I took the motorcycle. It's really hot and dry out there. Like stepping into an oven." Wufei wiped some sweat off of his brow as he spoke.  
  
"I'll get you some ice water." Trowa got up and headed towards the kitchen.  
  
"Thanks Trowa."  
  
Duo was still looking at Wufei, expectant.  
  
"You gonna eat that sandwhich?" Wufei said, pulling a chair up to the table.  
  
"No. You can have it."  
  
"When was the last time you ate?"  
  
"He hasn't eaten anything yet!" Trowa yelled from the kitchen. Duo rolled his eyes. Wufei glared at the braided pilot.  
  
"Eat. Now. Or else I won't tell you anything."  
  
Duo gasped and looked at Wufei with wide eyes.  
  
"I'm serious. Eat that sandwich, and the next one Trowa brings out-" Wufei said loud enough for Trowa to hear. "- and then we'll see what kinda of bargain I'm willing to make."  
  
Duo glared at Wufei and began obnoxiously tearing huge bites out of the sandwich and chewing begrudgingly.  
  
Wufei remained silent as Trowa brought out his glass of ice water and the other sandwich. Duo reached for the sandwich but Wufei stopped him.  
  
"Slow down. I want you to actually digest this. You'll only throw it back up if you eat it that fast."  
  
Duo pouted but slowly chewed the rest of his sandwich, took a sip of tea, and slowly ate the next sandwich. He gulped down his tea and let out a sigh.  
  
"All done. Much better. Spill the beans."  
  
"Relena's mansion is pink and ugly. It looks like something out of a Barbie commercial. She has a small dog that looks like a dirty mop. And that's it. I'm going to take a shower." Wufei got up and headed for the bathroom.  
  
"WHAT?!!?!? THAT'S NOT FAIR WUFEI! TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED!!" Duo stomped angrily in front of him, blocking the doorway.  
  
Wufei sighed.  
  
"Duo, Heero WILL be calling you, or he might even come here very soon. I refuse to be his messenger. Anything he might have to say, will be said by him. Not by me."  
  
"Wufei....please...tell me. What's going on? Does he...is he...really..?"  
  
The phone rang. Trowa picked it up.  
  
"Hello? Heero? Yes, he's here. I'll get him. Duo, it's for you..."  
  
Duo ran to the phone and snatched it from Trowa.  
  
"Hello!?"  
  
With Duo turned the other way, Wufei gave Trowa a sorrowful look. Trowa shook his head. Wufei nodded in agreement.  
  
"Tomorrow? Here? Okay-wait-Heero!"  
  
Duo slammed the receiver down. He stared at the phone.  
  
"He'll be here tomorrow at 1:00. He didn't even say hi..."  
  
Late after Duo had fallen asleep, Trowa and Wufei sat in the den, drinking coffee.  
  
"So...he was never even gay? I can't believe this...but it makes sense. Duo and I were trying to figure out earlier what this vague feeling was that Duo was experiencing. He said it was like something on the tip of tongue, he just couldn't say it. That must have been it. Did you know he never even kissed Duo outside of sex? I just can't believe none of us noticed. Of course Duo wouldn't notice. He's so damned in love with the son of a bitch."  
  
"I'm just so angry Trowa. I want to strangle the bastard. How could he not realize what he has? Duo is beautiful! He's such a wonderful, giving, loving person. I would give anyone to have him. To have him look at me the way he does Heero. Why can't Heero see that?"  
  
"Heero's a real basket case. That's all I can say...Wufei, do you...." "What?" Wufei said.  
  
"Do you...having a thing...for Du-"  
  
"No! When I said that I meant someone LIKE him..."  
  
"But you said HIM."  
  
"Well you know what I meant." Wufei snapped.  
  
"Why did you go talk to Heero today?" Trowa said in an interrogative voice.  
  
"Because Duo is my friend! I hate to see him like this!" Wufei said defiantly.  
  
"Riiiiiight." Trowa smirked into his coffee cup.  
  
"Shut up. Baka."  
  
"You know I'm right."  
  
"And? Duo is about to get his heart broken tomorrow! Right now would not be the best time to admit how I feel-"  
  
"Aha! So I AM right! You're in love with Duo!"  
  
"SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHH! I've successfully hidden it for a long time and I intend to continue doing so FOREVER! So shut up."  
  
Dawn came. Wufei awoke and went through his morning routine. He found Duo pacing the dining room wringing his hands nervously.  
  
"Sit down and eat. I don't know how, but you lost weight in the last couple of days and it's bothering me." Wufei demanded.  
  
Duo sat down and chewed on a piece of toast. He drummed his fingers on the table.  
  
"He's not coming for another three hours. I can get my straight jacket if you continue to annoy me." Wufei said as he opened up the newspaper.  
  
Duo decided it was best to sit on his hands. The rest of breakfast was uneventful. 12:30 came and Wufei was ready to tie Duo to a chair and duck tape his mouth shut. But his urge to restrain the other boy was overshadowed by the looming feeling and the nausea.  
  
As 12:50 came, Trowa excused himself and said he was going to visit Quatre. Wufei got up from the chair he was sitting in and began to pace in time with Duo. He quickly realized what he was doing.  
  
//He's going to know after it happens that you knew. What are you going to do then? What are you going to say?//  
  
The doorbell rang. Duo ran to answer it. Wufei followed him. Duo's hand hesitated at the door. He looked back at Wufei. Wufei managed a small, encouraging smile. Duo opened the door. In it stood Relena Dorlian Peacecraft standing next to Heero, holding hands. 


	7. Light Glows Anew Chap 7

Light Glows Anew Chapter 7  
  
Duo stood there with his mouth open. Relena smiled sympathetically.  
  
"Hello Duo. I'm sure you didn't expect me, I'm sorry if I surprised you, it's just that Heero didn't want to come alone. I'm not really sure what all of this is about, but Heero said it was important." She smiled and looked at Heero. Heero looked at the ground.  
  
Wufei could think of anything to say. The moment the door open it felt like ice cold water had been dumped in his face. He looked at Duo. That was when the anger hit him.  
  
"What the f-"Wufei began before Duo held his hand up.  
  
"Please, come in. I wasn't expecting you or else I would have had tea prepared. Wufei can take you and Heero to the den to wait while I make some." Duo said in an eerily polite and normal voice. He opened the door and gestured for them to come in.  
  
"That's very kind of you." Relena said. Wufei stonily led them to the den without a word.  
  
"Make yourselves at home." He managed to croak. He seemed to have lost the ability to speak. Looking at the woman made him want to hurl. Looking at Heero made him want to kill. He thought it wise to join Duo in the kitchen but before he could excuse himself, Relena struck up the conversation.  
  
"My! This is a beautiful home! Quatre has wonderful taste! And it's so well furnished!"  
  
God must have been listening. At that moment Wufei heard the door open and Quatre's voice resonated through the halls.  
  
"We're home!!"  
  
"In here!" Wufei yelled in a somewhat panicked voice. Relena looked at him. "Uh...sniff...I have a cold. Excuse me please; I believe I'll assist Duo..."  
  
He fled from the den and met Quatre and Trowa in the hallway.  
  
"He brought HER!! He fucking brought the bitch because he was too cowardly to come here on his own! She doesn't have a clue what's going on!"  
  
Trowa gasped and Quatre dropped the suitcase he was holding.  
  
"He WHAT!? Where is Duo?" Quatre said.  
  
"He's in the kitchen. I was just going to check on him."  
  
"Good. I have an idea. I think Trowa and I will take the princess for a walk through the gardens out back-"  
  
"Heero will probably find a reason to go with you guys-"  
  
"Not if you make him stay." Trowa said.  
  
With that, Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei went back into the den.  
  
"Relena! Darling! How are you? It's so wonderful to see you again!" Quatre said magnanimously. Wufei glowed with pride at his Arabian friend's ability to act. Relena almost jumped from her seat and went to greet Quatre. They embraced and Duo kissed her on the cheek.  
  
"Quatre Winner! How marvelous to see you! It's absolutely been ages! You have the most gorgeous house!"  
  
"What perfect timing too, I was just about to ask if you wanted to see the gardens out back! The roses are in full bloom at this time-"  
  
"That would be perfect! I've been waiting to get a chance to see the famous Winner Roses!"  
  
"Smashing! Trowa, why don't you come along as well! It will give Wufei and Heero a chance to catch up!"  
  
Quatre gave Wufei a meaningful look.  
  
"Uh...and Duo will probably be finished with the time by the time you return. So take your time."  
  
Heero looked trapped. Quatre led Relena out through the back door followed by Trowa. Wufei watched until they disappeared behind the garden walls. He whirled around and glared at Heero who was sitting near the fire place looking defeated.  
  
"I never thought you would go that low. You must be insane bringing that whore with you. I will not forgive you for this. I'm going to get Duo. I'm going to bring him in here. Then I'm going to leave. You're going to tell him everything. And I'll be listening outside. Don't even think about trying to escape."  
  
Wufei quickly left the room and ran to the kitchen. He found Duo on the floor sitting against the refrigerator. He didn't say anything.  
  
"...Quatre and Trowa arrived and took Relena out back to look at the roses. My guess is they won't be coming back for a while...you should go talk to Heero now..."  
  
"Why did he bring her? He really doesn't love me anymore does he? You knew that, you just didn't want to tell me..."  
  
"Duo I-"  
  
"I heard everything last night actually. I thought that maybe it was a nightmare when I woke up this morning. That I hadn't actually heard it. I was just dreaming. But when I opened the door and saw Relena there, I knew it had to be true. Why else would he bring her? He was just too afraid to come by himself. All that time...he's not even...he used me. That's what it comes down to, right? He used me. I was only good for sex-"  
  
"Duo he did think of you as a friend. I know that isn't want you want to here, but he did care about you-"  
  
"Why are you standing up for him?"  
  
Wufei paused. He didn't know actually. Maybe he thought it would ease Duo's pain if he thought that Heero did care, just not the way he wanted him to.  
  
//He heard me talking about it last night, did he hear...no. No no no no. Couldn't have. Not possible. He would have said something. Doesn't matter anyway. He needs help right now.//  
  
"I don't know. But it doesn't matter. Whether you want to or not you have to talk to him." Wufei said.  
  
"I don't want to talk. I want to die."  
  
"Duo I'm sorry." Said a voice from the hallway. Of course Wufei wouldn't have heard Heero walking if Heero didn't want to be heard. Duo closed his eyes and tears ran down his face.  
  
"What the hell do you have to be sorry for anyway Heero? You didn't have anything to lose. You got what you wanted. You're getting married. White picket fence and all. So what are you apologizing for?"  
  
Heero carefully stepped through the doorway.  
  
"I'm sorry for hurting you."  
  
"Really? Wow. That makes everything all better. I guess that's it. You and Relena should go now." Duo said wiping his tears away and getting up. He brushed himself off and smiled.  
  
"Duo please. I am so sorry. I didn't realize at the time-"  
  
"FUCK YOU! You're only here because Wufei threatened to kill you if you didn't come! You would leave me rotting otherwise! You don't care Heero! I don't want to hear your empty excuses if you don't care!"  
  
"I do-"  
  
"No Heero. You don't. If you did, you would have never, ever kissed me that day. You had the choice. You weren't mentally screwed up, you just wanted to fuck someone! Well ya fucked me! I'm fucked Heero! Happy now?! I loved you God damnit did that not mean anything to you? Tell me! Did it mean anything at all?!!"  
  
Heero was silent. For the first time he looked Duo in the eyes.  
  
"What do you want me to say Duo? I didn't have any feelings for you. I knew you loved me. I took advantage of that and I used you. I'm in love with Relena. I'm going to marry her and live happily with her. I haven't lost anything...Is that what you want to hear? But I did lose something. I lost my friend. I lost you. It hurts. I am sorry. I do regret using you. But I can't take it back-"  
  
"Just leave Heero. The only thing you can do is leave. Stay away from me. Never try to contact me again. Don't even say my name. Just go and take her with you." Duo said quietly. He turned around and walked to the window, staring out into the summer day.  
  
Heero left. Wufei stared blankly, lost in the curves of Duo's chestnut braid. After quite some time, Duo turned around. He smiled at Wufei.  
  
"You looked stoned."  
  
Wufei snapped back to reality. "Hm?"  
  
"You were out of it. I said you looked stoned."  
  
"Oh...sorry." Wufei mumbled.  
  
Duo yawned. "What time is it?"  
  
"2:10. God how long have we been standing here?"  
  
"Quite a while. I watched their limo leave. I wonder where Trowa and Quatre are."  
  
"Are you okay?" Wufei said abruptly.  
  
Duo sighed. "No. But believe it or not, deep down inside I knew all along. It only hurts because I'm an idiot. I knew but I didn't want to see. There would times like last night, where I would realize it, but when I was actually around Heero, I would forget and fall in love all over again. It shouldn't hurt, but it does because I let it. I need to get drunk." Duo turned to walk out, but Wufei grabbed his arm and pulled him into a tight embrace. Duo began to sob immediately. Wufei lowered them to the floor and held Duo and stroked his hair. The braided boy began to nod after a long time of crying. His voice was gone and his cheeks were puffy and swollen. Wufei carried him to his bedroom. He set him on the bed but Duo whined.  
  
"Don't leave me. Please? Just stay until I fall asleep..." Duo pulled him onto the bed. He curled up against Wufei and nuzzled his head into the crook of Wufei's neck. They fell asleep like that. 


	8. Light Glows Anew Chap 8

Light Glows Anew Chapter 8  
  
Duo woke up warm and fuzzy. Or at least, that was the thought that entered his head upon waking.  
  
//Warm and fuzzy? How can you be warm and fuzzy? I am warm, that's for damn sure. Mmmm comfy...//  
  
He cuddled into the large, soft, squishy mass of something beside him.  
  
//Heero isn't this squishy. He's bony and prickly...oh yeah. He's gone... I'm alone...then what is this??//  
  
Still not opening his eyes, he squeezed the body next to him.  
  
//Body?...Oooooh...Wufei. Wufei??!? I'm snuggling with Wufei!!//  
  
His eyes flew open. There was Wufei, still asleep, with a child like scowl on his face. The rest of his body was buried beneath masses of fluffy blankets.  
  
//He's gonna kill me for cuddling like that when he wakes up. Maybe if I can just...//  
  
Duo began to maneuver away from Wufei so that he wouldn't wake the sleeping boy. But as soon as Duo began to pull away, Wufei snorted, grumbled, and yanked Duo back into place.  
  
"Mmm...'snot time to put the sauce back in the telephone...mmm..." Wufei muttered incoherently.  
  
Duo began to giggle.  
  
//What does this guy dream about? Sauce in the telephone?//  
  
Pretty soon Duo couldn't control his giggling and he began to laugh out loud. Very loud. So loud that Wufei woke up, looking grumpy and confused.  
  
" Jeez Duo...Where the hell am I? What's so funny?"  
  
Wufei blinked and tried to clear his hazy thoughts.  
  
//Bed...Duo...Heero...oh yeah...what is he laughing about?//  
  
Duo had tears in his eyes now and was gasping for breath.  
  
"You....sorry...I...phew...okay...I'm better now." Duo said sitting up.  
  
Wufei noticed it was dark outside.  
  
"What time is it, and why the hell were you laughing?"  
  
Duo looked over at the alarm clock.  
  
"It's 9:45 and I was laughing about something you said in your sleep."  
  
A blush crept up Wufei's cheeks.  
  
"W-what did I say?"  
  
Duo smiled.  
  
//Why is that dolt blushing? Ooooh, he must think he said something embarrassing...//  
  
"Wouldn't you like to know? You're little secrets out now. Too bad I have such a big mouth..."  
  
The color left Wufei's cheeks immediately. He sat up in bed and looked at Duo.  
  
//He knows. Shit!....Wait a minute...he's bluffing.//  
  
"What, that I'm a girl? Everyone already knows that Duo, you're just slow."  
  
Duo's jaw dropped.  
  
"Y-you're a girl? No fucking way. No way! Are you...serious? No way!! You don't look like a girl! All I heard you say in your sleep was that you wanted to put the sauce in the telephone-"  
  
"Aha! You liar! You're such a bitch! Of course I'm not a girl! You idiot. I can't believe you actually fell for that."  
  
Duo gasped.  
  
"You rat! That's not fair!..But wait a minute, you DO have a secret. What is it? Tell me! Tell me!...You really aren't a girl, are you?"  
  
"Jesus Duo, I'm not a girl! Do I look like a girl?"  
  
Duo paused for a moment.  
  
"Do you really want me to answer that?"  
  
Wufei growled. "Yah? Well look who's talking!"  
  
"I'll have you know that I am a very attractive person, feminine or not. Besides, guys are more attracted to the feminine types. That may be why you don't have a boyfriend Wufei. You're just too manly."  
  
Wufei gave an exasperated sigh. "I don't have a boyfriend because every guy I meet is a freaky, screwed up loser. Besides, I wanna meet the right person."  
  
//I already HAVE met the right person. In fact, he's lying in bed next to me. Now if only he was in love with me and we had just gotten through a night of wild love making...Well, I guess I may be asking too much.//  
  
Duo was silent.  
  
"What's wrong Duo?"  
  
"Do you think I'm the kinda person who DOESN'T want to meet the right person? That I'm easy?"  
  
"No. If I thought you were easy I wouldn't be your friend. I don't associate with those kinds of people."  
  
//Friend. Didn't Trowa say that? That he's my friend? Yeah...he also has feelings for me. I knew it before I heard him say it that night. He was always jealous of Heero. But I...I do want him. But I couldn't possibly be good for him. He needs someone clean and healthy. My opposite.//  
  
"Duo, did you hear me? I don't think you're easy, or a slut. You're a good person. You're a wonderful guy."  
  
"How can I be wonderful if I let him do that to me? I let him use me...I wanted him to use me maybe..."  
  
Wufei crawled over in front of Duo and looked him in the eyes.  
  
//Those eyes...//  
  
Those eyes that made Wufei feel like his head was spinning. Those beautiful, deep, pools of oblivion that made him want to cry out for heaven.  
  
//Those eyes...//  
  
"Duo, you wouldn't be hurting if you WANTED him to use you. You're not a sadist. You loved him. You're not dirty because of what he did. You're beautiful. He is the one with the problem, not you...."  
  
Duo met Wufei's eyes.  
  
//Those eyes...//  
  
Those dark, midnight, eerie eyes that Duo would willingly lose himself in. Those eyes that captivated him. Those eyes that saved him. That kept him from falling out of grace. Those eyes that kept him breathing.  
  
//Those eyes...//  
  
"How can I be happy again Wufei? Was I even happy then? I always wanted him. It was perfect. The God of Death melts the Perfect Soldier's heart. They fall in love and live happily ever after..."  
  
"Nothing is ever that easy Duo. You will continue to live and breathe. It's not the end. You will be stronger than before. Don't forget this experience and be bitter. Learn from it and move on. It hurts I know. Lots of things do. But it doesn't have to be the end of your happiness. It can be the beginning of something better. Something real."  
  
Duo saw those eyes. He saw them filled with love and concern. Sympathy, guilt and regret. Want, desire, restraint. They were filled with a wisdom that someone of Wufei's age shouldn't have. A loss of innocence but a gain of knowledge. Duo wanted to be like him. He wanted Wufei to look into his eyes and see all those things.  
  
Duo's hand reached up to Wufei's face and caressed his cheek.  
  
"...How did you become like this...?" Duo whispered.  
  
"Like what?" Wufei whispered back.  
  
"Like you are...I want to be like that...wise and perfect."  
  
They were lost in each other's gaze. Neither moved. Duo's hand remained resting on Wufei's cheek.  
  
//Wise and perfect huh? I'm the most flawed fool there is. Falling in love with you the way I have...//  
  
Wufei broke the gaze and reached up for Duo's hand. He placed it between his own and sighed.  
  
"I only know as much as I do because I've suffered many losses. To be wise is to be scarred." He looked up at Duo again. "Meiran is dead. My colony is gone. I killed Treize. I betrayed you all and entered under Marimeia's service. These events are what gave me wisdom. I wouldn't even call it wisdom. I'd call it caution. The REAL reason I don't have a boyfriend is because I don't want to hurt anymore. I might lose him, or hurt him, or something might happen. I don't want to FEEL anymore. So I stay away and never show myself to anyone. I'm surprised at myself for even making friends with you or Quatre or Trowa."  
  
//It's true though. I shouldn't have made friends with them. But they survived. I've even betrayed them, and they still stuck by me. And now I've fallen in love with this one...good job there Wufei. You're gonna regret it...//  
  
That little taunting voice in Wufei's mind only got louder.  
  
"I've digressed. The point is Duo, you don't want this knowledge. It's better if you live and learn through love. Not war. And you will come through this. Heero isn't the world. The world is what you make it. Anymore clichés I haven't said?"  
  
Duo smiled.  
  
//That's better. They say humor is the way to a man's heart after all...//  
  
"Thank you Wufei. I really wouldn't have made it through this day without you. Through this past week."  
  
//Duo Maxwell, I believe you've made up your mind.//  
  
Duo agreed with himself with a little nod and yanked Wufei into a hug.  
  
"Oof." Wufei said, caught off guard by the sudden movement. "Duo, are you okay?"  
  
"Mmhm." Duo said and let go of Wufei. "I've just made up my mind about something. Are you hungry? I haven't really eaten since breakfast."  
  
"Uh...yeah...do you want me to make you something?"  
  
"Nah, let's order some Chinese."  
  
"This late?"  
  
"Second thought, let's just go to the place. It's open 'til midnight. Let's go!" 


End file.
